Tuesday 19 November 2013

mother dearest

mother dearest
I swallow another pill
chase it with gin
listening to you fill
my head 
with condescension
judgment
and filth
cover me with the embrace
only a mother can give
with toxic grace
and insatiable pride
pretending
everything is alright
but deep into your core
you think of me
as less than
whole
do you picture me
in bed
with another man
would you prefer
I settle down
into your archaic plan
as I try to function
in my world
parallel
to yours
we laugh
we cry
but we never try
to meet on equal grounds
all the words I say
are mere obnoxious
sounds
you throw away
living in a fantasy world
that I will be
the son you dreamed
of me
but I'm not
and you're destroying
me
just love me
like a mother should love
accept and celebrate me
I will always be yours
but I will not change
your plans for me
must rearrange
unless you want to 
lose me
to the fiery hell
you picture
the lives of others
just like me
one last kiss
before I fall into 
the abyss
of this unforseen
destiny
that belongs to me
it will be fulfilled
with or without
your support
I need to move on
cause my life is caught
inbetween
my needs
and your wants
goodbye mother dearest
I hope life treats you well
I have to let go
farewell

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